Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
