Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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