mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
