I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize