You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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