Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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