I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
