For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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