"it" just moved
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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