I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
