my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
