Got a toothbrush?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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