I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
