i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize