All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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