i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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