So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I want to make a zoo with you.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
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I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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