It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize