Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
