I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize