I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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