Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
