there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
