Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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