Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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