it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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