This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
