One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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