dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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