Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
