went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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