i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
