Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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