I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
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I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
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So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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