Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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