Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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