No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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