Don't you send me to vm
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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