I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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