There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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