So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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