I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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