I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
