WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
