he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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