I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
