That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
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