If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
