Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
