forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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