I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
