Umm I'm too high to move.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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