took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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