It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
