tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
